Today we received an email that we had lost yet another classmate to the stress of vet school. (Dropped out, not died.) She was in my orientation group and a really great girl. That puts us down 2 out of 102. I guess it could be worse, but if I had my way we would graduate with everyone we stared with. There is always the feeling of “Could I have done more to help?” One of the other girls in my orientation group said she felt the same way, like if she had put her in her anatomy dissection group maybe she could have kept her coming to class. I reached out to her and let her know that we wanted her here and that I was here to support her. In the end she had to choose what was right for her, and I am trying not to beat myself up about it. I am going to miss her as a part of our class.
Later this evening I also found out that one of my friends in my class started taking antidepressants over Christmas. This sparked a discussion among several of my rather cheery friends talking about how they cried themselves to sleep the day before school started this semester. (and these are people who are making great grades.) This experience is defintely taking a toll on our emotions.
In other, better, news, I think I have actually made a few real friends. I am quick to have a lot of casual acquaintances but really slow to make friends that I really want to spend time with. I think these are some really good ones, and friends are what is going to really get me through this for the next four years. It feels like some of the pressure is off and I can really be myself more often. It felt like I had been waiting to exhale until I found some people of my own. (Or for my vet school peeps keeping my scalenus, intercostals, diaphragm, and serratus dorsalis cranialis contracted.)
Here’s to breathing a little more freely... and to not losing anymore classmates.
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